Session 1:

“Detective work is a lot faster when you mind rape people!” – Primus

“I guess I’m the “bad cop”. – Primus

(a little bit after Primus used the Logrus to drill a hole in the ground to hold an unconscious body)

- “I guess you made an impression!”
- “I did!”
- ”...in the ground!”

- “You’re using your thing?”
- ”...my brain? Yes.”

“Primus, Bodyguard to the King of the Universe!” – Dan

“It’s always good when you have a list of all the disloyal people!” – Greg

Session 2:

GM – “You now see that the octopus creature is more humanoid, and a woman.”
Player – “Oh! That I can deal with!”

- “If she needs bed rest, what can I…”
- ”... you can take her to bed!”

- “Soldiers carry banners. Assassins and mercenaries generally do not.”
- “(trumpet sound) Here come the assassins!”


Player – “I come out of the closet…”
GM – “It’s good that one of the Amberites had the courage to!”

“He farts Chaos. It smells really strong.”

“Did you just send the Murder Machine off to negotiate?”

“Hello, my name is YOUR GOD. What’s yours?” – Primus

“I’m going to leave the large rock there, and hope they use it responsibly.” – Neil

NPC – “You bastards! You won’t get my land!”
Neil – “Why would we want your land? it’s awful!”
Liz – “We just want the ugly creature in your home!”
Neil – ”...not your wife!”

Liz – “If we have any coin of the realm, we leave it with the farmer.”
Neil – “No way! he shot a guy!”
GM – “I love the subtle moral thinking that gaming evokes.”

Flynn – (after bringing in Slania and the mercenary captain in through Trump, and realizing that the room is filled with cousins and Elder Amberites) I’m sorry, are you busy?

- “It’s impressive Team Murder solved a problem without killing.”

Neil – “How many people have gotten that much blood out of Caine? Am I on the leaderboard?”

Session 3

Benedict: I hear you are the one that defeated Gilliard.
Primus: You could say I gave him a desk job…

- “Do you remember what Corwin’s army was like?”
- “Yes. They were basically muskrats with thumbs.”

- “He’s a stag headed demon. Is that a problem?”
- “Demon is such a perjorative term.”
- “But do antlers not go over well?”

- “They drink, they sing, they drink, and they die.”
- “I thought that was pirates.”
- “Actually, that’s Irishmen.”

GM – “She is a neighboring queen, and can make her antsy-ness felt.”

NPC – “What are your orders?”
Fenric – “Repulse the tentacles!”

GM – “It’s starting to attune to you.”
Liz – ”...what does that mean?”
GM – “It likes you.”
- “Bow chikka wow wow!”

GM – “Who has…oooh. That’s gonna hurt.”

- “A power Word might be difficult under water.”
- “What…Oh! ‘Verbal Component’!”

Primus – “What the fuck just happened?!”
Fenric – “We’re being attacked!”
Primus – “Who the fuck cares!”

“Are we about to have a PC fight in the middle of the smoke monster attack?”

Liz – “The demon’s a shapshifter?”
GM – “He says so!”
Liz – ”...I observe.”

“By the way, demons shapeshift. Now you know!”

- “Should I swallow him whole?”
- “Now I have to attack his esophagus!”

Session 4

GM – “Neil and Liz wrapped up their plot quickly…”
Neil – [pedagogically] Mine Rape, people. Mind. Rape.

Slania – [dryly] Paperwork. That sounds….thrilling.

Alyssa [to Cillian] – If I had a trump of you, it would mean I could contact both you and Primus.
Cillian – [amused] Are you expecting to hear different stories?

Sean [inquiring about cheese] – Is it cheddar or American?
Liz – It’s yellow.

GM – There’s something oozy and alien, and it feels a little like Liam.
Liz – There’s a difference?

Liz – “What’s in your head?”
GM – “There is a hole in your mind!”

Liz – I thought I’d just flash the Auditory Seal and tell people to get the fuck out of my way.
Greg – Always a good time.

Greg – How does it feels to travel through the Logrus?
GM – It feels…like going through the Stargate!
Greg – Has Cillian been through the Stargate?
GM – ...No.

After Slania lies outrageously to an NPC and gets away with it:
Greg – [hugs her] She’s coming along so well!

GM – I have no idea what you’re referencing with ‘happy purple sharks’.

Greg – I’m starting to think of Primus as a walking claymore.
GM – ...all his characters are like that.

GM – You can sense Liam. He seems smug.
Neil – Isn’t that was he always seems like? ‘I sense smugness, overwhelming snugness…fuck, it’s Liam.’

Liz – Liam feels like him, and not like creepy weird him?
GM – Do you want to feel him?
Liz – ...

GM – The prince looks completely taken with Slania
Greg [to Emily Kate] – ...are you prepared to do your duty for the crown?

Dan – Did you just ask if Cillian was drunk?
Neil – No, I was asking if he was in his room!
Greg – ...they’re so alike!

GM – If you push me to near death, I just turn into a Boss Fight.

Session 5

Sean – I feel like I should get the benefit of the doubt!
GM – ....yeeeaaah, you get the benefit of the doubt if you don’t have Bad Stuff.

GM – [playing an NPC] “Hi, I’m a minor character. I refuse to be a red herring. My name’s Bob!”

GM – How many guards do you bring with you? You have 15.
Greg – [impishly] Five and a half!
GM – ...I feel bad for that last one.

Liam – “How are things going?”
NPC – “Well. I’m not dead yet.”
Greg – I want to go for a walk!

GM – Fuck, I should have had a name ready for this guy!
Greg – ‘I never expected you to talk to them!’

Julian – “There’s this wonderful new diplomatic protocol. It’s called knocking. I’ll send you a memo!

GM – Would you like to have your wound tended in the city, or have better care in the castle?
Sean – I’m kind of in a hurry.
Greg – ‘I don’t have time to bleed!’

Liam – “Are you asking me out?”
Alyssa – “Romantic endeavors go badly with me. I don’t hate you that much.”

Session 6

GM – Dan, what is Fenric doing?
Fenric – [bellows] “I want a pizza sphere!”

GM [to Neil] – I suspect you have it in you to resolve this.
Dan – [sotto voce] Primus for king!

Greg – Emily Kate has stolen her first fleet. We’re all so very proud.
Mike – You always remember your first!

Dan [regarding Slania] – Noooo! We have another evil tentacle monster in our midst!

Greg – It’s basic physics. When you throw your knife at someone…you don’t have it anymore!

GM – You have been stabbed, crushed, and shot. Today.

GM [to Emily Kate] – You’re standing there naked, and Martin is confused.
Neil – [suddenly] You have green nipples, right?
Silence reigns for a good fifteen seconds.

Neil – Liam is on the edge of death, isn’t he?
GM – He is. If he doesn’t look both ways before crossing the street…
Dan – He has 10 points of Bad Stuff! The street will become a truck and hit him!

Sean – We make sure they get the least flammable bottle of wine.

Sean – I look at Alyssa [looks to the side]
Greg – ...why are you looking at me??

GM – Giant bands of steel suddenly appear around Alyssa, including her mouth, and she falls to the floor.
Sean – That’s very interesting!
Greg – That’s very understated!

Dan – I thought something horrible had happened to your face… but I realize, it’s just that your face is in the light, now!

Session 7

[no quotes, on account of Greg not being there. If you saved any, put them in!]


Amber: The time of Red Knives Cillian